sayang

posting kali ni jiwang sket.
kalo korg ada simptom2 loya dan geli tekak,
sila jgn teruskan membaca posting ni. hehe..

bila ckp pasal syg ni, aku akan ingat hal2 yg tak berkaitan.
contohnye:
lagu Alif Aziz - Sayang sayang sayang
lagu Vince Chong - Sabarlah Sayang
lagu lama (ntah sape yg nyanyi ntah) - S.A.Y.A.N.G
filem Sayang Salmah
filem Sayang You Can Dance
dan macam2 lagi..
tp aku ada gak teringat hal lain pasal sayang ni.

dlm hidup aku, aku ada syg ramai org.
dan juga aku ada benci gak beberapa org..

byk jgk org yg penah aku syg,
shifted to my hate list.
puncanya mungkin pada aku.
ataupun pada dorg.

in english, syg is literally translated as love.
to me, love means cinta, rather than sayang..
ape2 aje lah..
tp aku tak la suka sgt guna love sbb cm sgt2 jiwang.
ok sebenarnya, cuma aku tak suka.
btw, aku syg org atas mcm2 sebab.
ada yg aku syg atas family, friends reasons..

aku sbnrnye kekok nk tulis pasal perasaan ni.
tapi aku anggap la yg takde org baca.
or by the time u guys reading this part,
u must have the little 'x' on the tab of this blog.
bila time2 feeling ni, aku suka tulis2 dlm english
(please excuse my english)

i got to admit that i can't deny such feeling exist in me.
to love or not to love, thats the problem.
is it a problem in the first place?
i'm looking at it as an opportunity instead.
to love, meaning i'm letting myself to realize my feeling.
to be accepted or not, its another thing.

all these while, rejections were if not rare, were rather normal to me.
rejections after rejections..
name it from primary school to university years.
i had it all..

being in love is a wonderful feeling, obviously.
i still remember the time
when i had this relationship years back with NH.
we have the same birthday/date, hence having the same horoscope.
its like an instinct to me.
when i started to miss NH, the phone rang, or a text message arrives.
we had a fun time together.
but blame it on me.
i think, we broke up due to my fault.
no regret, though.

after NH, i've decided to be single and available.
i've decided not to commit myself to others.
i live my own life.
i do what i need to do.
me, myself and i.

i dare not to love anybody anymore.
love is such a complex subject.
even more complex than a shopping complex.
er.. Midvalley, KLCC and Sunway Pyramid may come close
to the level of complexity of love..
(i'm in haze)

time flies, and i met a person, A.
love, love, love A so much.
thats all i need to say.
forget the fact that i dont dare to fall in love again.
i never give up in finding my true love.
afterall, my love begins with sayang..
and slowly it turns to love.

we made a promise that the relationship would at least
survive for a year.
mean? haha..
we hv to be realistic in love too.
remember S.M.A.R.T.?

its just that i've started to syg A so much now.
i'm scared that A would be suffocated my syg-ness..
finger crossed.
whatever it is, i'm hoping for the best.

if A is reading this,
just to let u know that i love u so much.
i'm doing my best to keep my emotion and brain
feeling and thinking align..

(humming LOVE TODAY by Mika)